Aunt criticizes mom for putting her 7-year-old son in time-out, gets indignant when she refuses to babysit her kids: '[She said] I should use gentle parenting instead'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 3, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Everybody has a different idea of "gentle parenting." Some parents think that any kind of negativity directed at their little angels is inherently harmful and try to avoid it altogether. The wildest gentle parenting strategy I've seen is to never say "no" to your kid and instead guide them towards more desirable decisions. For instance, if your kid ate sand, you'd say, "I don't know if sand is the yummiest option. Maybe you could come over here and eat some orange slices instead." It is easier and probably more effective to say, "Junior, stop eating sand right now," but if gentleness is your most valued virtue, the former might work best for you. 

It's one thing to want to use gentle parenting methods on your kids, but what about the other kids in your family? One mom recently went viral for her sister telling her how to raise her kids, and her demands are less than reasonable.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10398518784
    via frank mckenna

    Photo does not depict a real subject in this story

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids after she criticized how I discipline my own children?
    via u/patuliv9x2r0t
  • 03
    I (32F) have two kids, ages 5 and 7, and my sister (34F) has three kids, ages 3, 6, and 8. We've always been close, and I often babysit her children when she and her husband need a break. Last weekend, my sister dropped her kids off at my house for a few hours, which is something we've done countless times before.
    via u/patuliv9x2r0t
  • 04
    While I was watching all five kids, my 7-year-old started acting up, so I put them in time-out. My sister came back earlier than expected and saw this. She immediately pulled me aside and said she doesn't believe in time-outs and that I was being too harsh on my child. She then went on to give me an unsolicited lecture on how I should handle discipline, saying I should use "gentle parenting" instead.
    via u/patuliv9x2r0t
  • 05
    I was taken aback because I've never criticized her parenting methods, even though I don't always agree with them. After she left, I felt really upset. The next day, she asked if I could watch her kids again this weekend, and I said no. I told her that if she doesn't trust my judgment with my own kids, I don't feel comfortable being responsible for hers.
    via u/patuliv9x2r0t
  • 06
    She got really upset and accused me of overreacting. Now, she's not speaking to me, and my parents think I should just let it go for the sake of family harmony. But I can't shake the feeling that she crossed a line. So, AITA for refusing to babysit after she criticized my parenting?
    via u/patuliv9x2r0t
  • 07
    PumpkinPowerful3292 • 21h Aficionado [13] NTA - Your sister laid out her perspective in child rearing by criticizing you as she did about how you discipline your kids. She was way out of line since nothing did was abusive to your children, quite the opposite. Funny how though your reaction to her meddling, is overreacting went totally out the window as soon as she needed her kids watched again.
    via u/PumpkinPowerful3292
  • 08
    Huxley_The_Third • 19h Yeah, she crossed the line when she talked to OP like that, and then she has the nerve to ask her to babysit? She should be at least apologizing to OP before asking. The "overreacting" card is just a way of making herself feel better and to downplay her actions instead of admitting she was to Op.
    via u/Huxley_The_Third
  • 09
    corico • 19h The delicious irony of her accusing OP of overreacting... and then giving OP the silent treatment for not babysitting for free. Incredible.
    via u/corico
  • 10
    Emerald Fire_22.18h Oh, you mean her putting OP in timeout until OP does everything she wants OP to do?
    via u/Emerald_Fire_22
  • 11
    linda70455 • 18h It wasn't sister's child in timeout. Sister was waaaay out of line. F family harmony. I was always the one who sucked it up.
    via u/linda70455
  • 12
    Invisible_Target • 18h I'm trying to figure out how tf a timeout isn't gentle. Sounds like sisters kids will likely grow up to be brats
    via u/Invisible_Target
  • 13
    Ok-Cat-4975 • 19h NTA. No more babysitting until she apologizes for criticizing you. Also make her agree that you'll put her kids in time out if you feel they need to. If you're responsible for them, you need to have a way to manage them. Otherwise she can find someone else to watch her kids.
    via u/Ok-Cat-4975
  • 14
    JaneTheCane • 21h If your parents are so concerned about family harmony, tell you sister that they have volunteered to babysit for her. Family helps family, right?
    via u/JaneTheCane
  • 15
    Jakester616 • 20h And also if they were really concerned about family harmony, then they should tell OPs sister to keep her opinions to herself.
    via u/Jakester616
  • 16
    JEM10000 20h I would just like to point out the irony that she is the one who is criticizing your parenting, but also the one who needs constant breaks from her children. Maybe if she tried giving her kids timeouts she wouldn't need breaks from them???
    via u/JEM10000
  • 17
    Murky_Ad_7468 • 16h I want to know how timeouts aren't gentle parenting? If it's framed as "actions have consequences" and teaching the child to self- regulate, what's the issue? Does the sister think gentle parenting means your kids never have boundaries or consequences? Because if that's the case... I wouldn't watch her kids either.
    via u/Murky_Ad_7468
  • 18
    telekineticm • 14h The idea is that with younger kids or kids with less developed emotional regulation, they often need coregulation (for you to help them regulate) rather than to be put in time out for self regulation. Some folks also feel it is cruel to deprive kids of attention as a punishment. I fall more on the gentle side of things but I'm is NTA. For most kids seven is old enough for a time out to be okay.
    via u/telekineticm
  • 19
    NTA. Impossible_Gazelle27 • 21h Partassipant [4] The irony of your sister putting you in a metaphorical time-out for putting your son in an actual time-out.
    via u/Impossible_Gazelle27
  • 20
    Content-Plenty-268 • 21h Professor Emeritass [81] NTA. Telling someone how to parent their children is crossing a line. You took offense because her comment was offensive. She could have taken the cue to apologize, but instead she doubled down, insulted your [legitimate] reaction because it caused her inconvenience, and now she is not speaking to you. Your parents aren't helping. Why don't they tell her to apologize for the sake of family harmony -- and also because she is wrong? Some will argue
    via u/Content-Plenty-268
  • 21
    Ok_Conversation9750 • 21h Supreme Court Just- A time out is harsh??? [115] Gimme a minute- my eyes got stuck from rolling them so hard. NTA
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 22
    chefkimberly⚫ 21h Time out is, quite literally, gentle parenting. It seems your sister thinks that gentle parenting means no discipline at all, which, if not yet problematic, will be, most certainly, in the future. Undisciplined children become unmanageable. NTA.
    via u/chefkimberly

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entitled parents kids crazy things parents say sisters gentle parenting parenting babysitting aunt little kids sister little sister Parenting Fail son parents children kid
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